


like to think of you in my pocket

by oh_la_fraise



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Implied Violence, reaction fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-11-07 13:59:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11060457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oh_la_fraise/pseuds/oh_la_fraise
Summary: Kylie sighs, pouring another glass of wine.  Amy imagines smashing the glass, and feels a little better.  It’s not even good wine; it wouldn’t be a waste.  “All I’m saying is—fifteen years is a long time.  Hard to get married and have kids when your boy is in the slammer.”





	like to think of you in my pocket

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't done a quick write challenge in awhile, so I decided to churn out a Crime and Punishment reaction fic. Title is from Bruce Wayne by Memorecks.

When she goes to visit Jake for the first time, he does his best to joke and smile. But Amy's not one of the best detectives in the NYPD for nothing. She can see the black bruises poking out of his sleeves, the way his hands twitch slightly, the bags under his eyes. He's lost weight, and he's wearing his glasses—no contacts in prison—that make him look incredibly young.They put their hands up to each other on both sides of the glass, and Jake immediately makes the Spock hand sign from Star Trek. Amy laughs for what feels like the first time in years. 

“I’ll wait for you,” she promises. 

~ 

Kylie sighs, pouring another glass of wine.Amy imagines smashing the glass, and feels a little better.It’s not even good wine; it wouldn’t be a waste.“All I’m saying is—fifteen years is a long time.Hard to get married and have kids when your boy is in the slammer.”

~ 

Amy knows how to breathe without Jake; she learned how when he was undercover and again when he was in WitSec. But she feels his absence now more than ever, even though this time Amy knows exactly where he is. A symptom of moving in together, she supposes. Without Amy even being aware of it, Jake had embedded himself into even the smallest, most insignificant parts of her life. 

Most nights, she goes to sleep clutching his sweatshirt, searching for hints of his truly terrible body wash. She starts watching the new episode of Scandal reflexively, and she puts blue Gatorade in her buggy at the store.It isn't until she notices her apartment is particularly muggy that Amy realizes the dehumidifier has been full for several days—she hasn't done it since Jake moved in.

She ends up on the floor, sobbing hysterically over the full bucket she can't quite remember how to remove. She feels ridiculous even as she does it, but for the first time in her life, she doesn't really care.She just wants her stupid boyfriend in a stupid dry apartment. 

~

Amy's father presses his lips together. He's playing with his wedding ring, twirling it around on his finger with his thumb. Amy knows he only does that when he's uneasy. 

He doesn't do it very often. 

"Even if he's innocent—" her father starts.

"He is," she interjects, too tired to be truly angry.

"Even if he's innocent," he says again, "you won't be able to prove that right away, if you can at all."

He trails off, and Amy knows there's something left unspoken."What are you saying?" 

He turns his ring again. "Just think about the realities of loving someone from behind bars. A Jewish cop—I can't imagine he'll be very popular in prison."

~

Amy drifts awake and slides out of bed. She's slept later than she usually does, and the other side of the bed is empty and cold. She takes a minute to brush her teeth and heads into the kitchen where she can hear pots and pans banging. Jake is at the stove, in ratty sweatpants and his glasses. She can see he's making blueberry pancakes—her favorite.

She steps up, sliding her arms around his waist. He turns around, and she can see the barest hint of his wide smile before she wakes up, alone.

~

Visiting Rosa is possibly even stranger than visiting Jake. Rosa’s actually put on weight, all of it solid muscle, but Amy can still see her hand trembling around the phone. 

She lets Amy prattle on about celebrity gossip and drama between Amy's cousin and her new boyfriend – something neither of them have ever cared about – and Rosa stays silent for the most part, eyes drifting to stare at something on the wall.When Amy mentions Jake, Rosa grows still.“You two are still together?”

“Of course,” she says, confused. 

“You need to leave him.”

Amy doesn’t understand.“I don’t care if he’s in prison, I _love_ him—“

Rosa shakes her head.“Not for you.Do it for him.”

~

Amy gets home that night, confused and upset.She sees the life plan above her— _their—_ bed and mentally adds in _marry Jake_ and _have kids with Jake, li_ ke she does every time she looks at it.

Her resolve strengthens.Screw what everyone else says.

~

Holt looks like he’s aged fifty years, and Amy didn't know he was even capable of emoting so intensely.He sits down, so slowly its as if there’s an albatross around his neck.Amy has never been so afraid, and she’s been unarmed and staring down a perp’s gun more times than she would like to admit.“I just talked to Warden Pollack. There’s—there’s been an incident, Santiago.” 

~

She goes to the jail right away, sitting stubbornly in the corridor, badge on display, until visitor hours start.There’s still a heaviness in her chest, and the ring sits heavy in her pocket. When it’s finally time, the guard looks sympathetic. "I'm sorry, but you're no longer on the visitor list."

~

She tears down the life plan, ripping it into shreds.She doesn’t feel any better.

~

“You don’t have to wait, you know,” Jake says.Neither of them can force themselves out of the car, and Langdon hovers in front of the door of the court house uncertainly.“If things go wrong, I mean.I—I can’t ask that of you.I want you to be happy.”

“There’s no me without you, kid,” she says, only partially teasing.She squeezes his hand, and he laughs.His hand is warm and gun calloused in hers.“I promise, I’ll wait for you.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr at ohlafraise.tumblr.com.


End file.
